Dear Congress,

 

Cap and Trade is not an energy plan.  It's a game plan.  It will be a game where you make the rules, you referee, and you play and always win.  The game's strategy is to gain complete control of the economy, reduce individual liberties and squeeze every last dollar possible out of taxpayers and the private sector.

 

The game's loser is me, the taxpayer.  I lose more of my income.  I lose more of my freedoms and liberties.  I lose my time and energy.  Before the game is over, I may lose my sanity.

 

Time and energy I once devoted to my family is now required to feed your insatiable appetite.  You are like a participant in a hotdog eating contest that didn't wait for the starting bell but proceeded to eat all the hotdogs, the dishes, tables and chairs, and the other contestants.  As President Obama might state, "The urgency of the situation requires immediate action.  Don't bother to read it.  Eat it!  Eat it!  Eat it!"

 

With the passage of Cap and Trade and labeling CO2 a pollutant, you think you'll significantly reduce the danger of global warming.  But, there is something warming that is far more dangerous to you - far more imminent - and you don't need Al Gore or some bought and paid for UN scientist to explain it to you.  All you have to do is take a short trip outside of the Beltway and away from the Main Stream Media and the liberal elites.

 

Now that you're outside the Beltway, look around.  I know that you're frightened, but you needn't be.  This is the real America.  The people you see wouldn't even harm a preborn, so you're in no physical danger.

 

Notice the beads of sweat on that fellow over there?  Through that man's labor you are able to sit in air-conditioned comfort and pass laws that steal the fruits of his labor and enslave his children to a debt that can never be repaid.  You want to establish a new bureaucracy to regulate the intangible greenhouse gas emissions for the entire economy and you can't even run a railroad.  Give me a break.  Give him a break!

 

Speaking of breaks, you have driven me almost to my breaking point.  There is a fever growing inside of me and millions of other Americans that is far more dangerous to you're well-being than some inconvenient global warming.  I have had more than enough of your lying, cheating, criminal, and unconstitutional behavior.  You and this administration have stolen power that constitutionally belongs to the states, and you will not keep it.  You want to silence AM radio and limit free speech, but it is you that will ultimately be limited.

 

Cap and Trade is more about political power than electrical power.  If you were serious about greenhouse gas emissions, then you would be building nuclear power plants and drilling for the 2,000 trillion cubic feet of natural gas in this country.  If we need help building safe nuclear power plants, we can ask the French.

 

So forget Cap and Trade unless you want to see half the electorate experience spontaneous human combustion.  Take my advice and go nuclear and natural gas.  You can also throw in the Energy Secretary's advice and paint roofs white.  For good measure, stop coloring your gray hair or covering that chrome dome.  Then you, Al Gore and the rest of the climate alarmists can breathe a sigh of relief.  But wait, breathing a sigh of relief would produce greenhouse gas pollutants!  Maybe, you should stop breathing.  I'll pop open a bottle of champagne on that day.

 

By the way, what are those bubbles in champagne?

 

Yours truly,

The Buffalo Gnat